


Rhodonite

by lowkeyamen



Series: Solitaire [6]
Category: Topp Dogg (Band)
Genre: Angst, Crossdressing, Crossdressing Kink, Emotional Abuse, Escort Service, M/M, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Polyamory, Romance, Smut, Toxic Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-03-04 00:14:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13352460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lowkeyamen/pseuds/lowkeyamen
Summary: Hojoon thinks he's found someone else to love him, but maybe he's just like the rest.





	1. The Doctor

**Author's Note:**

> here it is the first part of rhodonite!!! this is my F A V E part of solitaire because as you all know i looooove hojoon. i was gonna wait until all of the main stories were over (how they all come together) but i can't wait that long omg so i'm just gonna have rhodonite running along side the main fics!!!! (its gonna be fukkin long too i think oops) 
> 
> also happy bday shay ily lots!!!!
> 
> rhodonite starts about a year before turquoise and finishes just after turquoise ends so hyosang will come into the picture near the end of this fic yay :)
> 
> i will add to the tags as the chapters are posted just so i don't give everything away heh  
> pls enjoy!!

_rhodonite_

_associated with abuse and past trauma; said to help promote self-love and overcome feelings of_   _inadequacy_

 

✧ ✦ ✧

 

Hojoon swayed his hips; he didn't even have to look to know all eyes were on him, fixated on his every move. He loved this. It made him feel alive. 

He undid the last button of his oversized dress shirt, allowing it to slide off his shoulder as he teased his spectators, teeth sinking into his bottom lip. He smiled to himself, the shirt smelled like Jiho, being his; he almost didn't want to take it off. 

He let the crisp, white material fall to the ground, revealing the full extent of his bare torso, glistening with sweat from the heat of the lighting. 

As much as he loved the attention, of being the one person every man in this room couldn't take their eyes off, this wasn't permanent for him. There was a time where he thought he would be stuck stripping for the rest of his life, but Jiho had made him see that he could make more of himself, helped him realise that he had aspirations. 

He wanted to be a choreographer. He adored dancing and wanted to take it further than just swinging around a pole while middle aged men threw money at him. 

But that meant having to go to university and study, and studying wasn't exactly his strong point. He had left school at sixteen, barely scraping by with a handful of qualifications. Qualifications that would not help him get into university. 

That meant he had to go college, with a bunch of eighteen year olds, to do maths and English and all that other boring shit he didn't care about. He was almost twenty-four and to be perfectly honest he couldn't think of anything worse. 

But it had to be done. He  _had_  to better himself. There was no way he could do this for the rest of his life. 

He slid back down the pole as his song finished, picking up the stray notes that had been thrown at him throughout, smiling to himself. It may not be the best job in the world, but at least the pay was decent. He was slowly but surely adding to his university fees fund. 

He stepped off of the stage, flinching slightly as a dark haired man with broad shoulders and a kind smile approached him, a wad of cash in his hand. 

"Hey, I'm Dongsung." The man put his free hand out for Hojoon to shake, the blonde taking it hesitantly. "I have an offer for you..."

Hojoon blanched as Dongsung trailed off. An offer? _Oh god no._  He didn't do that anymore, he had no idea what Dongsung was going to propose but if the fifties in his hand were anything to go by, he was pretty sure it was something he hadn't done for a while.

"I'm not a prostitute." Hojoon spat out before Dongsung could even finish his sentence. He may have let men pay to fuck him in the past, but he wasn't that person anymore. 

Dongsung's eyes shot open, raising his hands defensively. "No, God no. It's not like that. I'm not trying to buy you I just..." He trailed off again, trying to phrase this so he wouldn't come off as a complete creep. "I'm a cardiologist, and there's this big hospital gala coming up and I don't have a date and you're gorgeous and this probably sounds pathetic but I was wondering if you even did any type of paid dating or...whatever?" Dongsung trailed off, fiddling with the zip on the sleeve of his leather jacket. 

"Like an escort?" Hojoon quirked an eyebrow. He was pretty sure that was just a fancy word for prostitute. 

Dongsung looked off to the side, as if he was considering whether the word was right, shaking his head as he decided it wasn't.

"Look, you would literally just be my date, that's it. No sex or nothing involved, not even kissing. At most hand holding. I just need someone pretty to take with me cause my boss is a creep and I told him I'm with someone."

Hojoon hummed. He knew that feeling all too well. Dongsung seemed genuine, but the thought of going out somewhere with some guy he didn't know made him nervous. He couldn't really trust someone he had never met before. 

"When is it?"

"June 17th, three weeks on Thursday."

"Can I think about it?" Hojoon's eyes fell to the stack of notes in Dongsung's hand. He could do with the money, wanting to buy Taeyang something extra special for his birthday this year. 

Dongsung nodded eagerly, writing down his phone number for the dancer, asking him to ring when he had made a decision. 

Hojoon's thumb ghosted over the number in his hand as Dongsung turned to leave. He didn't know why he was so compelled to say yes, he had avoided anything like for almost two years now, since he had met Jiho. He wasn't that person anymore. But old habits die hard, especially when there was that much money involved. 

 

✧ ✦ ✧

 

Hojoon stirred as someone slipped into his bed, nuzzling into his back. His eyes were bleary, blinking a couple of times so he could focus on the glowing clock face. 

8:00. 

He groaned. He had barely been asleep two hours. 

"Sorry for waking you." An arm snaked over his waist, playing with the loose material of his t-shirt. "I was cold."

He smiled to himself, Taeyang was always cold. Hojoon turned; wrapping his arms around the brunette and drawing him close, pressing a soft kiss to the elder's forehead. 

"So, this guy came into work." Hojoon spoke up after a couple of minutes, hoping Taeyang hadn't fallen asleep. He heard a small grunt of acknowledgment from the elder, urging him to continue. 

Hojoon swallowed thickly, not knowing how to word this without freaking Taeyang out. "He made me this offer an-"

Taeyang's head snapped up from the pillow, Hojoon could just about make out his eyes narrowing in the dark. 

"What kind of offer, Hojoon?"

Hojoon loved how protective Taeyang was of him. It felt nice that someone wanted to look after him and keep him safe without treating him like an object. There had been a number of instances where the brunette had tagged along to work with Hojoon, despite knowing there were plenty of security guards there to keep him safe. The other dancers had often commented how jealous they were that Hojoon had someone that loves him that much. 

"It's not what you think, Tae. He just wants me to go to some, like, doctors ball or something with him."

Taeyang settled back down, eyes scanning over the faint outline of his boyfriends face as they lay in the dark. In theory that didn't sound too bad, but he couldn't help worrying about Hojoon after everything that had happened to the blonde in the past. Just because this guy wasn't proposing anything too seedy, didn't mean he wasn't planning on taking advantage of the dancer. 

"Do you wanna go?"

Hojoon shrugged. He still wasn't sure himself. It was good money; he assumed anyway, maybe he should have asked Dongsung how much he was willing to pay first. But he was still nervous about being alone with men he didn't know. 

"I might meet up with him before just to see what he's like, and what's involved. He said it would be nothing more than hand holding, he just needs to pretend he isn't single."

Taeyang hummed. He still wasn't sure, but he couldn't stop Hojoon from doing anything. He loved the blonde but he would never control him, even if it was for his own good. The best he could do was offer advice and hope that Hojoon would take it. 

"Want me to come with you?"

Hojoon nodded, offering Taeyang a weak smile he knew the brunette probably wouldn't be able to see. He didn't know what he did to deserve Taeyang. How many boyfriends would offer to accompany him to meet a guy hiring him to be an escort? 

He leaned forward, catching Taeyang's lips in a soft kiss, both of them too tired to take it any further. 

"I'll text him when we've woke up."

 

✧ ✦ ✧

 

Hojoon was nervous. He didn't really know why, he never got nervous. Maybe because it was daytime. He wasn't used to meeting men when the sun was up. He thrived in the dark. 

He spotted Dongsung entering the cafe, scanning the room for him. He wore the same kind smile he had the first night they met. It put Hojoon at ease a little. 

"Hey," Dongsung slid into the booth, opposite the dancer, "I'm glad you messaged me. You want anything?" He motioned to the counter. 

"Uh, no I've got...something." He trailed off as Taeyang sat down next to him with two drinks. 

Dongsung raised an eyebrow, clearly not expecting someone else to be joining them. 

"This is Taeyang. My boyfriend." Hojoon offered, sensing the confusion from the doctor. 

Taeyang smiled at Dongsung. The taller man smiled back. No one in the cafe but Hojoon would have been able to pick up on how fake Taeyang's smile was. 

"I'm just here to make sure this is all above board." Taeyang added, taking a sip from his coffee. Eyes fixated on Dongsung. "What exactly do you want from Hojoon?"

Taeyang may be small and have the face of an angel, but he could be intimidating when he wanted to be. He could stop arguments between Byungjoo and Hojoon with so much as a look. 

Dongsung almost looked uncomfortable under Taeyang's gaze. "I want him to accompany me to an event, that's all. I told my boss I have a fiancé, and well, I don't."

Taeyang wasn't buying it. "Why did you lie to him?"

Dongsung sighed, leaning across the table. "Because until he thought I was taken and straight he kept propositioning me for sex."

Taeyang's eyebrows shot up under his fringe. "Well, shit." He and Hojoon exchanged a look; they had both been in similar situations in the past. 

"I'll do it." Hojoon turned his attention back to Dongsung. "But it's a date and that's it. You can hold my hand or put your arm around my shoulders but nothing more. You don't get to feel me up or kiss me and I'm going straight home after."

Dongsung nodded, that all seemed fair. There was just one more thing. 

"Wait, did you say your boss thinks you're straight?" Taeyang tilted his head, remembering what Dongsung had said before.

Dongsung played with the watch on his wrist. "Yeah...about that. Everyone I work with does. For doctors, they aren't very progressive, so you'd have to pretend to be a girl."

Taeyang's head snapped around to meet Hojoon's gaze, eyes wide as the other looked back at him nonchalant. 

Hojoon shrugged. "Sure. But I don't have anything to wear."

Dongsung nodded again, writing Hojoon a cheque. "Just get yourself something. It's like a black tie event, so, let me know what colour it is and I'll get a tie to match." 

Dongsung's pager beeped, signalling that he had to go back to work, thanking Hojoon again as he left. 

"What the fuck just happened?"

Hojoon turned back to his boyfriend with an amused smile on his lips. "Have you never seen me in a dress before, Taeyanggie? I look  _really_  cute."

 

✧ ✦ ✧

 

Hojoon wasn't lying. He  _did_  look cute in a dress. It was a soft blush colour and completely lacy which gave it an air of elegance, but in true Hojoon style it was skin tight and clung perfectly to his body, including the padding he had added to his chest to give off the illusion of him having boobs. 

Taeyang had never been interested in girls, but he wondered if Hojoon actually was a girl, maybe she could turn him. 

"Woah. Joon, you look gorgeous." Jiho took the words right out of Taeyang's mouth, eyes wide as their boyfriend descended the stairs, Hansol hot on his heels. 

"I know right?" The makeup artist gushed, fluffing up the blonde wig he had just finished curling. "You're so pretty, Hojoonie. And you have the tiniest waist ever! This dress looks perfect on you!"

Hojoon checked his phone as his boyfriends and Hansol fawned over him, the silver haired boy insisting on touching up the makeup he had just spent hours doing. Dongsung was almost there. 

"Hansol," he whined, squirming in his best friend’s grasp, "I need to go."

The three of them followed him to the door, Jiho and Hansol wanting to catch a glimpse of the doctor. 

"Woah, he's cute." Hansol breathed as they caught sight of Dongsung at the end of their garden, leaning against an expensive looking car in a dapper suit. 

Hojoon smiled. He  _was_  cute. 

"I'll text you when I'm on my way home." He pressed a sweet kiss to Hansol's cheek; the younger giggling at the lipstick mark he knew would be left behind. 

"I don't like when you wear heels, you're taller than me." Taeyang pouted as he leaned up to kiss his boyfriend. "Be careful, okay?"

Hojoon nodded, turning to Jiho, the models eyes were fixed on Dongsung. Hansol nudged him, eyes snapping back to Hojoon. He hadn't even realised he'd been staring. 

"Have fun, Princess." Jiho smiled that smile that always made Hojoon's heart melt as he leaned down to kiss the dancer goodbye, deeper than he had first intended. He didn't really want to let Hojoon go. "I love you."

"Love you, too." Hojoon could feel the blush creeping up under the layers of makeup he had on as his eyes flickered over to Taeyang. The elder knew he meant both of them when he said that, Hojoon didn't need to repeat himself. 

He made his way down the lit up garden towards Dongsung's car, the wide smile Hojoon couldn't stop thinking about making its way into the elder's face. 

"Hi."

"Hi. You look," Dongsung was lost for words, "gorgeous."

Hojoon smiled bashfully as Dongsung mirrored what Jiho had said earlier that night. 

Dongsung opened the car door for Hojoon to climb into, walking around the car to get in himself before instructing the driver to take them to some stately home Hojoon had never heard of. 

"Thanks again for doing this. Hopefully it'll be pretty painless for you."

Hojoon looked across at Dongsung, the elder looked nervous. 

"So, we met at through mutual friends and I proposed in the summer when we went on holiday to Italy. Actually, here." Dongsung fished around in his pocket, pulling out what looked like an engagement ring. "Put this on. It wasn't expensive so don't worry about it."

Hojoon gaped at the ring, sliding it onto the appropriate finger. He had never imagined anyone would ever give him something to wear on his ring finger, even if it was just pretend. It looked weird. In fact, it made him a little uncomfortable knowing he could never marry Jiho or Taeyang. 

"You might want to take those other ones off; they look a bit much with the engagement ring. Plus, they don't really go with your outfit."

Hojoon's eyes widened as he realised what Dongsung was talking about, eyes drifting to the amethyst and peridot rings on his right hand. He couldn't remember the last time he'd taken them off for an extended amount of time. He usually only took them off to shower. 

"Yeah, that's not going to happen."

"Hojoon, I'm paying you a shitload to pretend to be my fiancé, the least you can do is take off a couple of tacky rings."

Hojoon scoffed. There was a time he would have probably done what he was told, no questions asked. But that time was over. 

"Exactly, you need me more than I need you. I could quite easily go home and leave you to turn up to this thing on your own. The rings are staying."

Dongsung sighed, leaning back against the black leather seat. Hojoon was right; he couldn't afford to have the blonde leave now. 

They drove the rest of the way in silence. Hojoon's eyes widening as they pulled up to a grand stately home. He had never seen a place this big before. 

"Dongsung! Glad you could make it!" A man in his late fifties greeted them as they entered the mansion. "And who is this lovely lady?"

It took Hojoon a few seconds to realise this guy was talking about him. 

"Hojoon, Dongsung's fiancé." Hojoon mustered up the sweetest smile he could despite not really wanting to be here. 

"June? The month I was born, how wonderful!" 

Hojoon saw Dongsung shoot him a  _'just go with it'_ look out of the corner of his eye, keeping the sweet smile plastered on his face as the two doctors spoke about doctor stuff. 

He could sense how uncomfortable Dongsung was with this guy, the way the brunette would tense up every time the older man would pat him on the shoulder, or lean in closer to tell him a joke. 

He finally let the two of them go as more guests turned up, Dongsung lacing their fingers as he tried to get away from the man as quick as possible. 

"I take it he's the boss you told me about then?" Hojoon questioned as Dongsung stopped near the bar, taking one of the free champagne flutes and downing more than half of it. 

"Yeah. He's a fucking creep."

"Well, at least he thinks you're taken now. By the lovely  _June_." Hojoon rolled his eyes at the name. 

Dongsung chuckled under his breath, handing Hojoon a champagne flute of his own before putting his arm out for the younger to link. 

"Come on, let's try and make the best of this."

They socialised with other guests. Most of the women wanting to know every aspect of the proposal, which Hojoon managed to blag his way through pretty easily. He had thought about getting proposed to a lot, but he knew that would never happen. So many of them responded with  _'You're so lucky, Dongsung's a great catch!'_  It made his heart flutter a little. 

Hojoon actually didn't mind Dongsung. The elder seemed nice, genuine. He knew he was just playing the part of the loving fiancé, but Hojoon actually liked it. He liked having someone dote on him like Dongsung did, even if it was just pretend. 

He couldn't do this with Jiho and Taeyang. They couldn't show him off at a huge social event like this. He knew Jiho went to plenty, Hojoon had been to one or two after parties with him, but it wasn't the same. They couldn't act like boyfriends in public. He couldn't even kiss Jiho in front of all those people. That was the only thing he hated about their relationship. It wasn't accepted by everyone else. 

"Who was the guy you were kissing when I picked you up? With the black hair?" Dongsung asked when they were alone. Hojoon could sense a hint of jealousy in Dongsung's voice. Weird. Hojoon was just a guy he was paying to pretend to be his fiancé. He had no reason to be jealous. 

"Jiho. He's my boyfriend."

"I thought that other one was your boyfriend." Dongsung could remember Taeyang's name, how could he forget? He just didn't want to say it out loud. 

"Taeyang? He is. They both are. We're all together."

Dongsung's eyebrows shot up under chocolate hair as he muttered a _'wow'_  under his breath. 

"How does that even work?"

Hojoon shrugged. Sometimes he didn't even know himself. He just knew it did. "We just fit together. There's Hansol and Byungjoo too, they're Jiho's other boyfriends, and they're seeing each other. It's not for everyone, but it works for us."

"As long as you're happy, I guess." Dongsung could never do that. He got jealous pretty easily, he could never share his boyfriend with anyone else. 

"I am." Hojoon smiled against the rim of his champagne flute. "I really am."

 

✧ ✦ ✧

 

"Hey, Princess!" Jiho bounded over to him as soon as he set foot in the door. The rest of the night had gone pretty smoothly. Hojoon found that he was pretty good at socialising with the upper class, and Dongsung had dropped him off back home with a purse full of money as promised. "I missed you!"

Jiho caught him in a deep kiss, Hojoon smiling against his boyfriend’s lips as he gave the younger an entrance. Even after two years, Jiho's kisses still drove him crazy. He wrapped his arms around Jiho's neck, pressing himself against the model, silently asking to be picked up. 

Jiho was always good at reading body language, and he knew exactly what Hojoon liked. His hands trailed down the elder's back, cupping under his firm ass as he hoisted Hojoon up with ease, the blonde instinctively wrapping his legs around Jiho's waist. 

"I missed you too." Hojoon panted as they parted, eyes level with Jiho's. "Where are Tae and Hansol?"

"They have work early tomorrow so they went to bed, I told them I'd wait up for you to make sure you got home okay." Hojoon's face heated up as Jiho spoke. He loved how much they all cared about him. "Plus, I couldn't stop thinking about how good you look, Princess. Who knew I'd be so turned on by my boyfriend in a dress?"

Hojoon yelped as Jiho pushed him against the foyer wall, hips grinding against the blonde's hardening bulge. 

"You wanna fuck me dressed as a girl?" Hojoon's eyes twinkled as Jiho looked him up and down, smirking at the blonde. 

Hojoon bit down on Jiho's bottom lip as he reached down the pull up the hem of the tight dress, knowing the model would easily be able to support his weight without dropping him. 

Jiho kissed Hojoon again, this time with more vigour as he lapped into the elder's mouth, teeth clashing together. He couldn't get over how amazing Hojoon looked like this; it was never something he had expected to get him going. Though, he had always had a thing for the dancer’s thighs. 

His hands roamed all over Hojoon's body, earning soft moans from the elder. His hands stopped as they came into contract with lace.  _Lace?_

Jiho pulled back, tugging Hojoon's dress up a little more, eyes widening as he took in the pink lace panties his boyfriend was wearing. 

"Fuck, Hojoon."

"You like?" An amused smirk crept onto the blondes face. "I had a feeling you'd wanna fuck me so I thought I'd make the effort." 

He caught Jiho's lips in a tender kiss, revelling in the stunned gasps that left his boyfriends lips as he pulled the panties down. 

Hojoon reached down to unbutton Jiho's jeans, starting to get impatient. He wanted Jiho as much as the dark haired man wanted him. 

He took Jiho's fingers in his mouth, not wanting to waste time looking for lube, and he knew he could take it. The model bit down on his own bottom lip as Hojoon's tongue swirled around his fingers, slicking them up. 

Jiho pressed Hojoon harder against the wall, hips rutting against the blondes as he slipped the first finger in. Hojoon hissed at the intrusion, a hiss that quickly turned into a low moan as Jiho moved against him. 

The younger continued to finger him, stretch him, until Hojoon couldn't take much more. He needed Jiho. Now. 

"God, Jii, just fuck me. Please."

Jiho didn't need to be asked twice, smirking as he pulled his fingers out of the elder. He spat on his hand, slicking up his length. It wasn't the most romantic thing, but that was the last thing on his mind. He just wanted Hojoon. 

He loved when the blonde got like this. So eager, so desperate. Jiho knew how much Hojoon loved his dick, there were times where he found keeping up with the dancer's libido difficult, times where Hojoon literally couldn't get enough. 

Hojoon gasped as Jiho entered him, head falling back against the wall as his fingers found their way to Jiho's onyx hair. He loved how gentle Jiho was with him, to begin with, easing him in before he turned Hojoon into a screaming, sobbing mess.

Hojoon's legs tightened around Jiho's waist, desperate for more. He whined the younger's name, urging him on, subconsciously begging to be fucked harder. 

Jiho picked up a steady rhythm, fingers digging into Hojoon's plush ass as he moved inside his boyfriend. Somehow Hojoon managed to look even more beautiful than usual, thick black eyelashes gracing his pink cheeks as his eyes fell closed, long blonde hair sticking to his lipstick as he moaned for more. It was driving Jiho insane. 

He thrust into the elder harder, faster, Hojoon's fingers tightening in his black hair as he cried out at the sudden change of pace. 

"Oh God, Jiho! Yes!"

Jiho smiled at how loud Hojoon was. That wasn't anything new. He remembered how many complaints they would get from their neighbours before they moved when the dancer had first started sleeping with him and Taeyang. Not that he really cared; it was a huge turn on for him. 

He pressed up even further against Hojoon, fucking the elder hard into the wall to ensure he wouldn't drop him as he uncupped one of Hojoon's asscheeks, taking the blondes dick in his now free hand. 

Hojoon cried out again as Jiho began to pump his neglected cock, body going into overdrive as his orgasm neared. He was so close but he didn't want this to end. 

"Come for me, Princess."

Jiho's breath was hot against his ear as the younger encouraged him. Jiho  _always_  let him come first, even on the rare occasions Hojoon was on top; Jiho still prioritised Hojoon's pleasure. He loved watching the blonde lose it because of him. 

Hojoon came with an even louder cry of Jiho's name. The dark haired boy smirked, knowing it would have woken Taeyang up. Hojoon's walls clamped down around him, making it impossibly tight as Jiho continued to fuck him, chasing his own climax. 

Hojoon whimpered as Jiho's cock pounded into him, oversensitivity from his orgasm causing his eyes to water. 

"Hojoon...baby..." Jiho's breaths were ragged as he drew closer to the edge, catching Hojoon in an open mouthed kiss as he came inside the elder, filling him. 

The two of them panted, gasping for air as they simultaneously came down from their orgasms, heads clearing. Hojoon smiled against Jiho's lips. Sometimes he still couldn't believe he had someone as amazing as Jiho in his life. 

"So, I kinda just took your girl-virginity." Hojoon mused, making Jiho laugh as he pulled out of the blonde, trying to set him down on the ground, almost instantly picking Hojoon back up as he realised his boyfriend was unable to stand up properly in the ridiculous heels he was wearing now his knees were so weak. 

"Well, that's the closest I'm ever going to get to being with a girl, so yeah. I'll let you have that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I missed hojoon so fucking much he's my absolute FAVE I luvvvvvv
> 
> Also smut in the first chapter lol oop
> 
> comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated!! pls let me know what u thought ♡  
> if you wanna shout at me abt anything feel free to add me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/lowkeyamen) (i am friendless) or on [instagram](https://www.instagram.com/lowkeyamen/) (where i talk all sorts of gay shit) and i also have a [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/lowkeyamen) bc, well, i am despo for attention pls love me uwu thank u xo


	2. Money

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel so bad for not updating anything solitaire/td for so long but i just hit a wall n then my laptop died BUT i promise i'll never stop writing them. no matter how many members leave, no matter what they're called i'll ALWAYS support them these boys are my lifeeeeeee like i'm not even kidding lmaooo i've loved them since before debut and i always will and i will keep posting fics involving them even if no one is reading bc i always wanna contribute to the fandom in some way  
> SO i'm gonna try my best to get over my writing block n supply some sweet toppdogg/xeno-t fluff, smut, angst and whatever else i can think of  
> i really hope everyone else continues to support them too bc these boys deserve the worldddddd

Hojoon continued to go on paid dates with Dongsung whenever the elder needed him. Social appearances, dinner with superiors, even more galas. He never knew doctors had so much fun. 

They were walking down the street hand in hand, despite not needing to now they'd left Dongsung's boss behind. It was kind of nice, though. Hojoon wasn't much of a night time person anymore, being out on the streets when it was dark kind of terrified him, so having his fingers locked with someone way bigger and stronger than him was reassuring. 

"That guy's a real asshole." Hojoon leaned his head on Dongsung's shoulder as they looked for a taxi rank. 

"Tell me about it." Dongsung groaned. "I think he's jealous of my beautiful fiancée though." He smiled, nudging Hojoon slightly. 

Hojoon scoffed, dismissing the compliment because it made him feel weird. It made him feel weird because he liked it. He liked when Dongsung said things like that about him. He was pretty sure most of the time it was just for show, part of the role they were both playing. But sometimes it felt genuine. 

"Come on, I'll take you home." Dongsung opened the door of a cab for Hojoon to climb in. 

Hojoon hesitated. He wasn't sure he wanted to go home yet, he was really enjoying himself with Dongsung. But, it was kind of late and there wasn't really anywhere they could go in this part of the city...plus, everyone at home would be asleep at this time. Maybe he could-

"Can I come back to yours?"

Dongsung blinked a couple of times, making sure he had heard correctly. He hadn't expected that. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah I...I want to." Hojoon closed the gap between them, rising up on his toes slightly to kiss the brunette. It was sweet, fleeting, which is why Hojoon's next choice of words knocked Dongsung flying. "I want you to fuck me."

Dongsung felt his stomach knot. He had never thought Hojoon would have wanted this; wanted him. This was strictly business, and he had his boyfriends at home. He had always gone back to them and it killed Dongsung knowing he was with them after the evenings they spent together. There was no way he could deny the request. 

He jumped in the taxi, pulling Hojoon in beside him as he told to driver where to go, wasting no time in latching onto the younger's lips. 

This was the first time they had kissed properly. There had a been a few subtle pecks here and there, Hojoon's strict no touch rule slackening as he got to know Dongsung better, but he had never expected to have the blonde practically in his lap, tongue down his throat as he tried to undo the button of his dress pants in the back of a cab. 

Hojoon stripped almost as soon as Dongsung shut his front door. He knew he looked good in the skin tight red midi dress, but he wanted Dongsung to want  _him_ , not 'June'. 

He ripped the wig off, leaving it in a pile with his clothes as he fluffed his caramel locks up. He wrapped his arms around Dongsung's shoulders, the elder staring at him, mouth agape at how fast he had managed to get out of the tight clothing. 

"Take me to bed, Dongsunggie."

 

✧ ✦ ✧

 

Hansol was trying to tidy the clutter of ornaments and dolls on his dressing table when he heard a knock at his door. He shouted a _'come in_ ', as he took Chiarana in his arms. She was still his favourite, even though she was far from perfect. 

"Hey, can I talk to you about something?" Hojoon appeared at the doorway, shrouded in a giant hoodie that probably wasn't his own as always. 

"Sure, Joonie, what's up?" He settled down on his bed next to the dancer. He and Hojoon were really close, but Taeyang was usually the one the other blonde would go to when he needed to talk about anything. Why would he choose to come to Hansol instead? 

"I slept with Dongsung."

Hansol's jaw dropped. Okay, so that was why. He didn't see that one coming. 

"He didn't...force you, did he?"

Hojoon shook his head. "No, of course not, he isn't like that. I wanted to, I really like him, Hansol. It was good. Really good."

Hansol hummed. It wasn't the first time Hojoon had mentioned he'd been interested in sleeping with someone outside of their relationship, but they were usually just one night stands, not with someone he saw on a regular basis. 

"Have you told Tae and Jiho?"

Hojoon shook his head again, gaze falling to his hands as he played with a loose thread on the sleeve of his hoodie. "I'm kinda scared. I know I haven't but...I feel like I've cheated on them."

Hansol got that. When he started falling for Byungjoo he felt guilty too, but Jiho and Taeyang had reassured him that it was okay. 

"They won't be mad, Joon. Unless you keep it from them, don't go behind their backs."

Hojoon didn't look up at him, still staring down at his hands. Hansol noticed the blonde's eyes begin to glass over, tears threatening to spill over his long eyelashes. 

"That's not everything." His voice was small, something Hansol wasn't used to. 

Hansols eyebrows furrowed as Hojoon took a shuddering breath in. Something wasn't right here, and considering Hojoon's past, that worried him. 

"He paid me."

"He  _what?_ "

Hojoon flinched slightly at the tone of Hansol's voice. He could probably count on one hand the number of times he had seen Hansol get angry over the past couple of years. 

"He...gave me twice as much money this morning. I didn't realise til I got home. I think he paid me for sleeping with him."

The tears started to spill down Hojoon's cheeks. Hansol placed Chiarana on his bedside table before taking the dancer in his arms, making soft shushing noises into his sandy hair. It felt like ages since he had seen Hojoon cry, he hated that his closest friend was back at square one. Hansol gently rocked Hojoon back and forth until the elder's sobs subsided. 

"Sweetie, I'm so sorry." Hojoon had spent so long trying to recover from what Jiwon did to him, the fact that someone he actually liked had paid him for sex must be killing him. 

"They're gonna be so pissed at me." Hojoon hiccuped, arms snaking around Hansol's waist. Not only did he feel like he'd cheated on his boyfriends, but now he was a fucking prositute again. How did he always manage to get himself into these situations? 

"Baby, no." Hansol pulled back, taking Hojoon's face in his hands so he could look directly into his eyes. "I know they're both really protective, Hojoon, but they aren't going to be angry with you. This isn't your fault."

Hojoon sniffled, eyes darting sideways as he avoided eye contact. He hated himself for what was going through his head right now. 

"They will." He wiped his face with his sleeve. "Because I'm going to do it again."

All colour drained from Hansol's face. What was Hojoon talking about?

"Joon..."

The blonde laughed bitterly. "You won't get it, Hansol. Sex is what I do best; it's all I'm good at. I spent so many years having to sleep with guys I didn't want to, but, every so often I enjoyed it. Sometimes I'd get a really nice, attractive guy that I would have totally tried to pull in a bar, and I was getting paid for it. I know it probably sounds ridiculous to you but, that's what I have with Dongsung."

Hojoon was right, it _did_ sound ridiculous to him. He, Jiho and Taeyang had spent years trying to repair the years of physical, emotional and sexual abuse Hojoon had endured. He couldn't understand why he would want to go back to that life. 

"Sweetie," he started, lacing their fingers together. He knew he had to tread carefully; Hojoon was still as flighty as when they first met if he didn't use the right words, "I know I can't stop you from doing anything, but is this really wise? After everything? Don't you think that maybe this will dig up a lot of old memories?"

Hansol knew Hojoon still repressed things. Bottling up was his way of coping, and even though Jiho had gotten him to open up a lot, there were still memories he couldn't let go of. 

"It's not the same. I'm not being forced to do anything; I don't have someone controlling me anymore. I'm free to do what I want and this is what I want."

Hojoon had always been headstrong and stubborn; Hansol could see so much of Taeyang in him. But unlike Taeyang, Hojoon lacked a lot of rationale and loved to rebel. 

"Can I ask why you want to? Surely if you just wanted to sleep with him you would, so why the money? We make more than enough between us."

Hojoon sighed. "No. You guys do. I'm just a stripper, Hansol. You all have proper, well-paying jobs. I just take my clothes off and hope people throw money at me."

Hojoon loved dancing, but he was almost twenty-four. He lived in a seven bedroom house and was in a committed relationship with two successful men. And here he was, still a stripper. 

"You know how much I want out of that job, how much I want to choreograph, but that requires training and it's expensive. I can't just quit and walk into another job, Hansol. I literally can't do anything else."

Hansol's chest tightened. He hated déjà vu. This felt exactly like two years ago, after Hojoon left Jiwon. He wished Hojoon had more faith in himself. No matter what the three of them said he still felt so worthless. 

"Hun, if you want to leave that bad you know Jiho would pay for uni or whatever you need."

"That's the thing. I don't want him to." Hojoon's eyes welled up again. He still hated crying. "He's done so much for me already I want to prove that I can achieve something myself for once. And if this is the only way I can do it then I'm okay with that. I really don't have a problem with sleeping with people for money, Hansol, as long as it's on my own terms. And Dongsung is hot. He's nice to me."

Hansol didn't really know how to respond to that. He knew that Hojoon had made up his mind regardless of what he said anyway. That was usually the case. 

"Please, just...be safe, yeah?" The last thing he wanted was a repeat of last time. "And you  _need_  to tell Jiho and Tae. As soon as possible. They love you and they only want what's best for you, Hojoonie."

"They're gonna hate me for choosing this life again, though."

Hansol took the blonde back in his arms, rubbing soothing circles into the elder's back as Hojoon snuggled into him. 

"I don't think they could ever hate you, Joon."

 

✧ ✦ ✧

 

Hojoon felt happiest when he was nestled between Jiho and Taeyang, the two people he loved most in the world. When they moved to their new house he had insisted on having the biggest bed they could find, one the three of them, and more often than not even Hansol, could all fit in comfortably. 

"Would you guys be mad if I slept with someone else?"

He had his head rested on Taeyang's shoulder, watching as the elder marked some kid’s homework. 

"Of course not, as long as you were safe. I dunno if we can afford that many condoms."

Hojoon laughed under his breath. Taeyang had the driest sense of humour and he absolutely loved it. 

"I was."

"Oh? Who was it? Is he cute?"

He turned to Jiho, smiling. "Yeah. It was Dongsung."

"Hah! You owe me a blowjob." Taeyang threw his pen at Jiho, completely missing the younger. He never did have good aim. 

"You bet on my sex life?" Hojoon quirked an eyebrow at his boyfriends. 

"Kinda. We knew you had a thing for him."

"Is his dick big?"

"Oh god, yes." He lay his head back down on Taeyang's shoulder, looking up at his boyfriend. "I nearly cried when he put it in."

Taeyang laughed, throwing his head back, whining as his skull made contact with metal, cursing the younger for choosing such a ridiculous headboard. Hojoon never imagined he'd be lying in bed talking to his boyfriends about being fucked by someone else. 

"So, how does this work with the paid dates? Are you gonna date him properly now or what? Sex kinda complicates things, right?"

Hojoon shifted uncomfortably, avoiding eye contact with both of his boyfriends.

"Hojoon?" Jiho pushed, clearly sensing something was wrong with the blonde.

Hojoon played with the hem of Taeyang's t-shirt. "Well..."

"Did he pay you?" Taeyang nudged his shoulder, urging the blonde to look at him.

"Kinda..."

"Kinda?" He could hear the venom in Taeyang's voice. "Did he pay you to sleep with him or not, Hojoon?"

"Yes." He sighed, he couldn't lie to them. "It wasn't like that, though. I initiated it; I wanted to sleep with him. But then when I got home I realised he'd given me more than usual for a date so... I think he thinks I'm a prostitute."

"Oh, baby." Jiho wrapped his arms around the petite blonde, pulling him in close. "I'm so sorry."

He felt Taeyang's fingers threading through his hair, the two of them knew he hated that word, he wasn't that person anymore, and he wasn't what Jiwon had turned him into. But at the same time, he didn't mind it. 

"I uh... I want to keep seeing him."

Taeyang's fingers halted. Hojoon knew the elder wouldn't be okay with this.

"Really? Hojoon...he  _paid_  you for sex. Why would you want anything to do with him?"

"I like him, and I think he likes me."

Taeyang and Jiho exchanged a look as the blonde snuggled further into Jiho's hold.

"Maybe it was a mistake, Tae. He could have just assumed Joon wanted paid."

"I'm actually...kinda glad he did." Hojoon's voice was small, almost afraid to admit that to his boyfriends. "I really don't mind that he paid me, cause I enjoyed it. I was gonna sleep with him anyway, so; I guess being paid for it is just an extra perk. I can afford my tuition so much quicker if he pays me for sex."

"You aren't being serious, right?"

Hojoon turned in Jiho's arms; Taeyang's face read sheer perplexity. He nodded. Something akin to hurt flashed through Taeyang's eyes.

"It's not the same as with Jiwon. I'm not sleeping with loads of random guys cause I have to; I'm doing it because I _want_ to. I like sleeping with him and if he wants to pay me then that's fine by me."

Taeyang didn't know how to reply to that. He had never imagined Hojoon would want to go back to that life. The life he had worked so hard to change, to forget. Taeyang had been in a similar situation himself when he was younger, and he could never do anything like that again. 

"Tae, please don't hate me for this."

Taeyang sighed, expression softening as he took Hojoon's hand in his own. Hojoon had the cutest little hands, and his fingers were so tiny he had always found it adorable.

"I don't hate you, Muffin. I just...I love you, and you were in such a dark place when we met you, I don't want you going back to that."

Taeyang gravitated to Hojoon's side, arms overlapping Jiho's as he cuddled into the blonde.

"He has us now." Jiho placed his hand over Taeyang's smaller one. He knew how much the elder worried about their boyfriend. "Hojoon, if this is really what you want, I'm not going to stop you, but if you ever feel uncomfortable I want you to tell us, okay? I promised that no one was ever going to hurt you again, and I meant that."

Taeyang groaned into Hojoon's shoulder, he knew he couldn't stop the dancer from doing anything, but that didn't mean he was happy about it. He hated the idea of someone using Hojoon like that again.

"If he  _ever_  hurts you, I'll fucking kill him."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated!! pls let me know what u thought ♡  
> if you wanna shout at me abt anything feel free to add me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/lowkeyamen) (i am friendless) or on [instagram](https://www.instagram.com/lowkeyamen/) (where i talk all sorts of gay shit) and i also have a [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/lowkeyamen) bc, well, i am despo for attention pls love me uwu thank u xo


	3. Pretty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO!!!!! XENO-T ARE COMING BACK!!! AT FHW END OF MAY!!! MY BOYS!! THEYRE REALLG OUT THERE!! ALIVE!! ABT TO THRIVE!!! IM SO PROUD OF THEM!!!
> 
> Also!!! Jiho and Byungjoo went to fashion week and istg every year Jiho takes a different boyfriend lmao. First Hyosang, then Hojoon now byungjoo like,,,,is solitaire real???

"What about this?" Hansol picked a pewter dress off a rail, the top was off the shoulder, Bardot style, and the bottom was a floaty chiffon, it would probably sit just above Hojoon's knee. He was kinda short. 

"Grey?" Hojoon deadpanned, hand on his hip. "I can't think of a less sexy colour."

"God, you're so picky." Hansol rolled his eyes, putting the dress back. He and Hojoon had been shopping all day to find him a new dress for a charity auction he was going to with Dongsung, and Hojoon was notoriously hard to buy for. Nothing was good enough. 

"It has to be perfect. I want to look cute...but sexy. Like a classy lady but so he knows the second we get back to his I'm gonna get on my knees and blow him against the front door." Hojoon smiled, almost innocently despite what he had just said as he linked arms with Hansol. There was nothing in this store he liked, they'd have to find a new one. "Plus, it needs to be a nice colour, so he can get a tie that matches. It's kind of our thing."

A knowing grin spread across Hansol's face as Hojoon smiled to himself, cheeks tinted pink. 

"Oh my god! You really like him, don't you?"

Hojoon's blush deepened, eyes widening. "W-what?"

Hansol squealed, ignoring the people that turned to stare at him. "Ah! You guys are so cute together! Oh my god, Joonie! Is he like your boyfriend now?"

Hojoon stopped, causing Hansol to come to a standstill too. Did he like Dongsung that much? The doctor did seem to dote on him, but he couldn't really tell if it was all just an act, part of the roles they played in front of his colleagues. It made him feel good though, really good, having someone else treat him like he was precious. Maybe he did like Dongsung in that way, as more than a business agreement. But he had no idea if they elder felt the same. 

"I-I guess I like him. I dunno. You know I'm not good with stuff like that." He elbowed Hansol in the ribs as they continued walking. "He's not officially my boyfriend or anything, though."

"Do you want him to be?"

Hojoon shrugged. That kind of defeated the purpose of the job he was doing." Maybe. But then he'd have no reason to pay me, and I really need the money, so..." Hojoon trailed off as his eyes landed on a dress in the window of a shop. "Enough about that, let's go in here."

He unlinked his arm with Hansol only to lace his fingers with the youngers as he dragged him into the shop. Everything in here was so pretty. 

"This is so cute." He mused, picking up the dress he saw in the window. It was a simple white skater dress, a cut out pattern around the midriff and lace on the sleeves. Perfect for summer. 

Hansol cocked his head as he looked at the dress. Hojoon had been complaining for hours that nothing was good enough and now he was picking this?

"It's not exactly something you can wear to a fancy doctor party, Joon."

"Hm?" Hojoon snapped out of his trance as his eyes followed the pattern of the lace when Hansol spoke. "I wouldn't wear it for that, obviously, but it's still cute."

He slid the hanger over his arm as something else caught his eye, a mannequin in a baby pink striped crop top and pleated white skirt. Everything in this store was so nice. 

Hansol followed Hojoon around as the elder picked a bunch of things to try on, eyes sparkling as gasping every so often. He had no idea what Hojoon was doing. They were out looking for a luxurious cocktail dress for his appearance with Dongsung, not everyday wear. 

"Joon...what are you doing?" Hansol didn't know how long they had been here, but it was a while. Hojoon had resorted to getting a basket from a shop assistant he had picked up so many items. "Why are you even looking at this stuff, you can't wear them out with Dongsung. You only go to really fancy places with him."

Hojoon avoided Hansol's gaze as he kept his eyes locked on the ripped t-shirt dress in front of him. "I dunno, I just think they're pretty." He shrugged, adding it to his pile of clothing. 

"But when are you going to wear them?" The stuff Hojoon was picking was ultracasual, even if Dongsung invited him to a daytime thing with a couple of work friends, he doubted the doctor would want Hojoon turning up in anything like this. 

"Just...around." Hojoon toyed with the tassels of a leather jacket, face heating up. "I dunno, sometimes I just feel like dressing like a girl. Like, around the house and stuff, or when I come shopping with you."

Hojoon's voice sounded really small, like he was afraid of admitting that to himself, even. Hansol smiled softly, looping his fingers around Hojoon's slight wrist. 

"Joon, do you think maybe you're transgender?" Hansol asked, quietly. This probably wasn't the most appropriate environment to be asking such questions. 

"What?" Hojoon turned to look at his best friend, eyes wide. "No. God, no. I don't want to be a girl, fuck that. I just kinda like looking like one sometimes, it feels...right, but not all the time. Just sometimes. And I don't want Dongsung to be the only one that gets to see me like that. I wanna just be able to wear a cute skirt or something when I go out with you guys too."

"Ah." Hansol nodded, beginning to understand what Hojoon meant. "Maybe you're like, genderqueer or genderfluid or something."

Hojoon shrugged. He had seen those terms online, but he didn't fully understand them. He didn't really care what he was, it made no difference to him, so he never did any research into the whole vast gender spectrum to find out what everything meant. 

"I dunno, maybe. I don't really care enough to label myself, I just like girls' clothes and looking pretty I guess. I still like looking like a boy too though." He laced his and Hansol's hands back together, squeezing lightly. "I'm just a little scared to tell Tae and Jiho. They're not into girls at all. What if they don't like me dressing like this on a regular basis?"

"Don't be scared, babe. They love  _you_ , not your gender. They aren't going to drop you just because you don't always dress like a boy. Plus, from what I've heard they think you look pretty hot in dresses." Hansol winked, remembering the time he walked in on the three of them after one of Hojoon's dates, the dancer still fully dressed up as his boyfriends played with him. 

Hojoon laughed obnoxiously loud, hand clamping over his mouth to stifle himself as he remembered that night. Hansol was right, Taeyang and Jiho always supported him no matter what, hell, they even supported him as he slept with Dongsung for money. This was nothing compared to that. 

"Okay, let's pay for this stuff before you find anything else you like in this fucking store," Hansol dragged Hojoon over to the counter, "and then find something for your date because my feet are  _killing_."

 

✧ ✦ ✧

 

Taeyang watched in amusement as Jiho added as many condiments as he possibly could to his hot chocolate. Whipped cream, sprinkles, gold candy stars, salted caramel sauce. He found it adorable that his world-famous model boyfriend was still that lame kid he fell in love with that almost threw up at one of their study sessions trying to impress Taeyang by drinking coffee. 

The two of them were waiting for Hojoon, their boyfriend wanting to meet up with them after they were finished with work, and before he started work. 

"What do you think he has to show us? He sounded kinda nervous when he rang me." Jiho asked, remembering his and Hojoon's conversation from before. 

"I dunno, hopefully it's nothing bad."

Taeyang laughed at Jiho's whipped cream moustache as the younger took a drink. "I can't believe everyone thinks you're so chic and cool, you're such a mess." He smiled, thumbing away the cream from his boyfriend's pout. 

"I'm cute, though."

"I guess." It took all of Taeyang's will power not to lean across and press a kiss to Jiho's jutted out bottom lip. He knew fine well people in here knew who Jiho was, he could sense the eyes on them from across the cafe. 

"Hey." 

Taeyang had been so absorbed in Jiho's lips that he hadn't even realised Hojoon had joined them at the table. 

"Hey, Muffin. Woah." His eyes widened as Hojoon took off his fur coat, hanging it over the back of his chair. He looked...

"You look so cute!" Jiho finished his thought for him. 

Hojoon smiled, face heating up, covered by the baby pink blush he was already wearing. He had a blonde wig on, loose curls falling down to his waist, half of it tied up on the top of his head in an Ariana Grande-esque ponytail with two fluffy pink pom poms. He had the crop top/pleated skirt combo he'd seen in that store when he was shopping with Hansol and had paired them with some over the knee socks and white hidden heel sneakers. He felt cute. Really cute. 

"You're not...mad?" He had been a little hesitant to meet them dressed like this, especially in such a public environment. What if they had just abandoned him or something? 

"Why would we be mad?" Taeyang tilted his head. "You look gorgeous."

"Well, cause-" He took a deep breath, pouring a couple of sprinkles on the table so he could play with them, as a distraction. "Cause you both like boys and, like, sometimes I don't always feel...like a boy. I guess. I dunno..."

Jiho and Taeyang exchanged a look, they weren't exactly sure where Hojoon was going with this. 

"Princess," Jiho took Hojoon's hand in his own, stopping him from playing with the sprinkles and forcing their eyes to meet, "we would never be mad at you over something like that. We love you, no matter what you look like."

"Or idenitfy as." Taeyang added. Being a high school teacher, he had to deal with kids struggling with their sexually and gender on a regular basis. He knew it was a sensitive subject that took a lot of soul searching, but he wanted to be there for Hojoon no matter what. "It doesn't make any difference to us, Joon."

"Really?" Hojoon looked between the two of them, stomach flipping. "You really don't mind all of," he motioned to what he was wearing, "...this?"

"Of course not! You look stunning. I always knew there was a reason I called you Princess." Jiho beamed, hand resting on the dancer's knee, not really caring if people took pictures or not. 

Hojoon giggled softly, he had always loved that nickname, never wanting to be called Prince or anything more masculine. Princess suited him perfectly. 

"Yeah, baby, you dress however you want, we'll always support you. Do you...want us to refer to you as her and stuff sometimes?"

Hojoon hummed, he had never really thought about that, too nervous to go into the finer details. 

"I dunno really, if I ever do I'll let you know but I'm happy with he and him. That doesn't really bother me." Hojoon's heart swelled, he had no idea how he got so lucky to find not one but two boyfriends that cared about him enough to ask something like that. 

"I wouldn't be opposed to you calling me baby girl or anything in the bedroom, though." A sly smirk graced his lips, crossing his legs so the skirt crept up his thigh a little more, revelling in the way his boyfriend's eyes fixated on him. 

Jiho propped up his chin on his hand, biting down on his bottom lip. 

"As if we could ever say no to our girlfriend."

 

✧ ✦ ✧

 

Hojoon checked over his reflection in a car window as he made his way to Dongsung's place. The two of them had been spending more time together throughout the day, mainly at Dongsung's place since the doctor was still worried people from work would see them. But Hojoon enjoyed himself nonetheless. Maybe now they'd have the chance to go out on proper little dates or something. 

He caught a glimpse of himself in a shop window, turning slightly so he could check over how good his ass looked. Perfect. The dress he had on clung perfectly in all the right places. It was kind of cold out, but he didn't want to cover his outfit up with a coat. He looked too good. And the wolf whistles he got walking down the street seemed to back that up. 

He felt pretty good about himself as he rang Dongsung's doorbell. He had been nervous about coming out to Taeyang and Jiho, but the two of them, and Hansol, being so supportive made him want to tell Dongsung too. Even Byungjoo said he looked good. 

"Hi, baby!" He beamed up at the doctor, stepping inside, excited to see his reaction. 

"Hojoon, hey! Wh-" Dongsung's eyes scanned over the younger. What was he wearing? Hojoon had a long sleeved black bodycon dress on, paired with a faux chinchilla fur gilet and over the knee black high heeled boots. but they weren't going out to meet anyone Dongsung worked with, so he didn't really know why. Plus, it wasn't really the type of outfit Dongsung would allow Hojoon to wear to meet his colleagues.  _What the fuck?_ "What are you wearing?"

"Hm?" Hojoon looked over himself in a proper mirror, fingers combing through his blonde wig as he readjusted the fur hat that matched his gilet. "Just a little something I pulled out of my wardrobe." He smiled, turning back around to look at Dongsung. His face fell as he saw the elder's expression. "Why? Don't you like it?"

"You kind of look like a Russian hooker."

Hojoon's stomach churned at that word.  _Hooker_. That wasn't who he was anymore. He had turned his life around he wasn't what Jiwon made him. 

"I, uh-" That word really threw him off, he didn't really know how to respond. It had been years since anyone had called him that and it made way too many old feelings resurface. He felt a little sick. "You don't think I look nice?"

Hojoon's heart rate increased as Dongsung's eyes trailed over him, expression unchanging. 

"Well, I mean, you always look nice," that made him smile, put him at ease a little, Dongsung was always so nice to him, "but, I'm not exactly into girls. You know that, so I'm not sure why you thought I'd like this."

"Oh. Well, this is just kinda how I dress, I-" He wasn't so sure he actually wanted to tell Dongsung anymore. "Sometimes I feel really feminine and more comfortable in girls' clothing. I think I'm, like, genderqueer or something."

He had done some research into the gender spectrum after talking to Hansol and his boyfriends, and he still wasn't entirely sure which label fitted him best, so he was just going to stick with genderqueer for now. It felt right. 

Dongsung sighed, motioning for Hojoon to follow him to the living room, which he did after stepping out of his boots, settling down on the sofa next to the elder. 

"Hojoon, just because I pay you to wear dresses doesn't make you a girl."

"I don't think I'm a-" Hojoon closed his mouth before he got to finish his sentence as Dongsung raised his hand, signalling for him to shut up. 

"Look, I'm a doctor, and there's no such thing as genderqueer or whatever, Hojoon. You're a boy. I think you've just gotten a little confused because of our deal, and I'm sorry about that." He took Hojoon's hands in his much larger ones, thumbs ghosting over his knuckles as he smiled sadly. "I'd love to take you out as a boy, if I could. The dresses and makeup aren't what I like about you. I think you're beautiful..."

Hojoon's heart swelled, shuffling a little closer to Dongsung. He still wasn't used to people talking to him like that, especially no one outside of his home. It always made him blush and giggle, made butterflies set off on his stomach. 

"But not like this."

 _Oh_. He looked down at his outfit. Maybe he did look kind of ridiculous... It's not like he was a biological girl, or even transgender, just a boy in a dress. Maybe Dongsung was right, he had just gotten caught up in the glamour of pretending to be his fiancé. 

"You don't need all of this, baby." Dongsung reached up to pull the hat and wig off, fluffing up Hojoon's caramel locks. "You don't need all the hair and makeup." He slid the gilet off Hojoon's shoulders, inviting the dancer to come sit in his lap. Which Hojoon did, fingers creeping under his dress, pulling it up his thighs and over the curve of his ass, urging Hojoon to pull it off. "All these ridiculous clothes, the padding." Dongsung almost scowled as Hojoon undid the padded bra he had on, so he looked like he had boobs. He had thought the overall look was pretty convincing, made him feel cute and girly, but apparently not. 

"You're perfect just the way you are." Dongsung breathed, fingers trailing down Hojoon's now completely flat chest. It made the youngers breath shudder. Dongsung really had a way with words. He always felt so special when he was with the brunette. 

"You really mean that?" Hojoon's fingers wrapped around Dongsung's, holding the doctors hand close to his chest. Dongsung smiled as he felt how rapidly Hojoon's heart was beating. 

"Of course, I do," he pulled Hojoon into a soft kiss, "you  _are_  perfect," another kiss, "and I want to ask you to be my boyfriend, actually, that's how perfect I think you are."

Hojoon's eyes widened.  _Boyfriend?_  Dongsung actually wanted Hojoon to be his boyfriend? This was something he had spoken to Hansol about just a few weeks ago, and he still wasn't sure how he felt about it. He was flattered, sure, anyone saying anything nice about him still shocked him. The fact that anyone else would want to be with him. And he liked Dongsung, he  _really_  liked Dongsung. He and the doctor had a lot of fun and Dongsung was always so lovely to him. To say he hadn't been completely enchanted by the elder's charms would have been a lie. He was well and truly smitten. But what about the money? Being with Dongsung was mainly about the money, so he could go to college. But...maybe there was more to life than money. He had two boyfriends that doted on him and he loved more than anything, why wouldn't he want another? 

"Well...?"Dongsung asked, looking up at him with hopeful eyes. "Do you want to be my boyfriend?" 

An ecstatic grin spread across Hojoon's features. How could he say no to that?

"Yes! I'd love to be!" He leaned in for a kiss, only for Dongsung to back away. 

" _Boy_ friend, Hojoon, not girlfriend. I mean it. I don't want you turning up here like this again if we're going to be together. You don't need it. I like you just the way you are."

Hojoon faltered. He had just started to feel comfortable in his own skin, like he could be who he wanted to be and wear whatever he wanted to wear, and now Dongsung didn't want him to? Maybe it was all just in his head, maybe he really didn't need all of this stuff. If Dongsung said he was beautiful enough without it, he couldn't very well throw that back in his face. Maybe he would just occasionally wear dresses and stuff at home. Or maybe he'd just stop altogether. 

"Okay, fine. I'll only wear boy clothes from now on." He leaned back in again, hoping to actually get a kiss this time. Which he did. 

Dongsung tilted his head up to meet him, catching Hojoon's lips in a soft kiss. He couldn't believe Hojoon was finally his. Sure, he was sharing him with two other guys and he didn't like that at all. But it was better than nothing. He really liked Hojoon and wanted to be with him, even under these circumstances. A dazed smile graced Dongsung's lips as he looked up at Hojoon, he really was perfect. 

"Good boy."

 

✧ ✦ ✧

 

Hojoon made his way back home from Dongsung's the next morning in one of the doctor's shirts and a pair of jeans he had left there one night. He didn't feel entirely comfortable, but he'd live. 

"Hey, baby gi- Oh." Taeyang ran to the door to see his girlfriend - boyfriend? Hojoon had been presenting female all week and had been so pleased with his outfit last night he hadn't expected the younger to turn up like this. "You feeling boyish today, sweetie?"

Hojoon nodded, smiling weakly. He wasn't, he would love to slip back into that dress but last night left him feeling more than a little self-conscious about the whole thing. Maybe he was just kidding himself. Dongsung had hinted at it just being a sexual thing when they were in bed - that he liked being overpowered and treated like a little bitch, and that subconsciously made him want to dress like a girl. It was partially true, he did like being treated like that by his partners, but dressing up wasn't a sexual thing for him. He didn't get off on it. Sure, he got off on the way Taeyang's eyes would widen and Jiho's jaw would drop as they drank in whatever lingerie ensemble he had chosen that night, but it definitely wasn't purely sexual. It just felt _right_. He couldn't think of any other way to describe it. 

"Well, you look cute either way." Taeyang smiled, that dimple of his making Hojoon melt a little, unable to resist smiling back. 

"I missed you last night." The elder pouted as they made their way to the kitchen for a morning coffee. "Did you have fun?"

"I did." Hojoon giggled softly, leaning up against the bench as Taeyang put the kettle on. "Dongsung asked me to be his boyfriend."

"Oh my god!" Taeyang turned back to face Hojoon, hands clasped together. "What did you say?"

"I said...yes." Hojoon shrugged, smiling sheepishly. He had no idea why he felt so shy about telling Taeyang this, it was perfectly acceptable in their relationship. 

"Ahhh!" Taeyang wrapped his arms around Hojoon's waist pulling him into a tight hug. "That's so cute! Aw look at you, all loved up." He teased as Hojoon blushed, squirming in his arms. He was honestly really pleased for him, this Dongsung seemed like a pretty nice guy from what Hojoon had told him, and anyone that made Hojoon happy made him happy. 

"As long as he treats you right, then I'm happy for you. But remember, and I told Hansol the same thing when he got with Byungjoo, if he's ever a dick to you, you come to me and I'll kick his ass, okay? I don't care how much bigger he is than me, no one gets to hurt my baby boy."

Hojoon wrapped his arms around the back of Taeyang's neck, giggling excitedly as he pulled his boyfriend into a deep kiss. He loved how protective Taeyang was of him, it made him feel so loved and safe after years of feeling like he was completely worthless. 

"Actually..."Hojoon started, thinking about the nickname Taeyang had just called him, "maybe I am feeling a little girly, I might go get changed into something a bit more comfortable."

Taeyang didn't miss the sparkle in Hojoon's eye, he had thought it was kind of weird that he went back to boy's clothes. Ever since he came out it was like he took every opportunity to wear a dress or ridiculously short skirt. A nagging voice in the back of his mind told him this was something to do with Dongsung, but he tried to ignore it, not wanting to ruin this for Hojoon. 

"Well then let me rephrase that,  _no one_  gets to hurt my baby girl." Taeyang's stomach flipped at the gummy smile that burst onto Hojoon's face. He _really_ loved seeing the blonde smile. 

"I'm gonna go put on something cute just so you can rip it off me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hojoon in a dress is MY SHIT idk if you've noticed lol
> 
> Anyway I hope this isn't too confusing bc like?? Idk this is sort of based on personal experinces. I am biologically Male and I consider myself a boy but I am literally so feminine lmao everyone thinks I'm a girl cause I dress stereotypically girly. Do I consider myself genderqueer? I dunno tbh. Honestly, my gender identity has never really like...affected me enough for me to actually ever think about it?? Like I don't care what I am lol?  
> BUT ANYWAY I'll still be using Male pronouns for Hojoon apart from maybe sometimes in dialogue if that's what he wants!!! I couldn't have everyone being cis pffft
> 
> comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated!! pls let me know what u thought ♡  
> if you wanna shout at me abt anything feel free to add me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/lowkeyamen) (i am friendless) or on [instagram](https://www.instagram.com/lowkeyamen/) (where i talk all sorts of gay shit) and i also have a [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/lowkeyamen) bc, well, i am despo for attention pls love me uwu thank u xo


	4. Daddy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a lil update bc I've had really bad writers block lately and can't seem to bring myself to write peridot uggggh so here's a wee bit of Rhodonite instead!!

"Mmmm, Hojoon, go deeper, baby."

Hojoon tried to steady his breathing as he stretched his lips around Dongsung's cock, lowering himself down. He almost gagged as the head hit the back of his throat. Blowjobs were his speciality, but Dongsung was bigger than he was used to. 

He tried to concentrate on the sensitive head, his hand doing the rest of the work, alternating between teasing kitten licks and sucking hard. He could tell it was driving Dongsung crazy; the elder didn't even try to control the bucking of his hips, making it difficult for Hojoon to breathe properly. 

Hojoon heard his phone ring, recognising Jiho's ringtone. He lifted off Dongsung's dick with a pop, causing the brunette to groan lowly at the loss of heat, as he reached for his phone. 

"Hey, Cupcake." His voice was a little hoarse from having a dick in his mouth. 

_"Hiya, Princess. What time are you going to be home? We're all going out for lunch about one and wanted to know if you're coming."_

Dongsung was getting impatient. He hated that Hojoon prioritised his other boyfriends over him. Especially when he was paying him for this. 

"I should be back in a couple of hours so, yeah, I'll  _come_." He smirked down at Dongsung, taking the elder's weeping cock in his free hand. Dongsung hissed at the contact. 

Hojoon worked Dongsung's length as Jiho told him about the shoot he had last night. Something about wanking another guy off while his boyfriend made casual conversation on the phone really turned him on. 

He shuffled closer to Dongsung, straddling the elder's legs as he rubbed his clothed erection against Dongsung's strained one, trying his best to stay quiet as Jiho spoke to him. 

 _"So, anyway, we're going to that-"_  Hojoon moaned as Dongsung bucked up against him, hand slapping over his mouth as he realised what he had done.  _Shit_. 

_"Are you having sex right now?"_

"Uh...not yet." Hojoon slapped Dongsung's thigh for doing that to him. The elder just smirked, repeating the action. 

Dongsung moaned obnoxiously loud, calling out Hojoon's name so Jiho would hear. He wanted the model to know who his precious boyfriend was with right now. He wanted him to know that he was going to fuck the dancer and Jiho couldn't do anything about it. 

Hojoon gaped, face flushing as his hips stilled. What was Dongsung playing at?

Jiho chuckled lowly on the other end of the phone.  _"Is that Dongsung?"_

Hojoon replied with a timid _'yeah',_  realising it was too late to try and hide it now. 

_"Tell me what he's doing to you, Princess."_

Hojoon could have sworn he heard Jiho unbuckling his belt. The thought of his boyfriend touching himself to the sound of Hojoon fucking someone else went straight to his cock. 

"Nothing, yet." He rolled his hips against Dongsung's, no longer afraid to hold back the moans that fell from his lips. "I have his dick in my hand, Jii. It's _so big_."

Hojoon's eyes locked with Dongsung's as he described the elder's cock, eyes filled with mischief as he pumped his fist harder. Dongsung scowled as his plan backfired. 

"He's gonna fuck me  _so hard_ , baby. I might be a bit of a mess at lunch." Hojoon smirked as small gasps fell from Dongsung's lips. He knew the doctor loved it when he talked dirty. 

"I can't wait to have his cock in me, Jii. I want him to fuck me so hard into the mattress I won't be able to walk. You're gonna have to come pick me up."

 _"Fuck, Hojoon."_ Jiho gasped out as he pumped his own cock. Hojoon definitely had a way with words. Even when he was talking about being fucked by someone else, it turned Jiho on. _" Are you touching yourself?"_

Hojoon whined as Dongsung bucked into his hand, rutting against the strained erection in his underwear. 

"Ah-Fuck! No, I'm... His dick's rubbing against mine and, God, it feels so good, baby."

Dongsung bit down on his bottom lip, more than a little annoyed that Hojoon was paying more attention to Jiho than him. He thrust back up into Hojoon's hand, knowing he was simultaneously dry humping the younger. Jiho was just talking dirty to him, but Dongsung was the one who was going to make him lose it, the one who would be balls deep in him. 

Hojoon could sense the two of them were close, fingers tightening around Dongsung's cock as his fist moved. 

"Come for me." His voice was low, just above a whisper, sending chills down both their spines. Dongsung didn't need anything more than that, it felt like Hojoon had been touching him for hours, teasing him. He needed to come so he could take control of the blonde. 

Dongsung spilled into his hand with a loud groan, again, wanting Jiho to hear just what his boyfriend was doing to him while the model was alone with just his hand. 

 _"Fuck, Princess, how hard did you make him come?"_  Jiho laughed under his breath as he imagined having Hojoon's hands on him. 

"Very." He popped two fingers in his mouth, sucking off the sticky white substance that coated them. "Tastes good too." He winked at Dongsung, relishing in how fast the elder's chest was rising and falling. 

"Your turn." He purred into the microphone, desperate to hear Jiho get off. Phone sex wasn't rare for them, what with Jiho having to travel so often. It wasn't as good as the real thing but knowing Jiho was touching himself while thinking about him always turned Hojoon on. 

 _"Baby, I'm-"_  Hojoon flinched as Dongsung reached out to grab his phone, hanging up on Jiho. 

"What the f-" Dongsung caught him in a forceful kiss, arms wrapping around Hojoon's smaller frame as he pulled him down onto the bed, trapping the younger boy underneath him. 

Dongsung pulled back, hooking his thumbs in the elastic of Hojoon's boxers to pull them down. The blonde just gaped at him. 

"Why did you do that?" Hojoon motioned to his phone, which was now slightly out of his reach. He wanted to hear Jiho come so badly. 

"Cause you're here with me, not him. And if I remember correctly, you can't wait to have my cock in you."

Hojoon moaned, smiling to himself as Dongsung left a trail of kisses down his neck, back arching to meet the elder's. All thoughts of Jiho left him as Dongsung's hands roamed over his body, making their way to his firm ass. 

"Pass me that lube, baby."

Hojoon reached over to grab the bottle they had used the night before to wank each other off, passing it to Dongsung. 

Dongsung smirked as he took in the sight in front of him. Hojoon was always so eager, always so desperate for his cock, raising his hips to indicate he wanted Dongsung to finger him. 

"How bad do you want this, baby?" Dongsung's slicked up finger teased at Hojoon's puckered hole, the blonde whining for him to put it in. 

"Please, Dongsung, just fuck me. I want your dick in me." Hojoon whined, writhing around in front of Dongsung, showing the elder how much he wanted it, how much he needed it. 

Dongsung leaned back down, catching Hojoon's lips in his own. 

"Call me Daddy."

Hojoon's breath hitched as Dongsung made his way back to his neck. 

"What?"

"Call me Daddy, baby, and I'll give you what you want." Dongsung pressed his finger against Hojoon's entrance, teasing the younger. 

Hojoon whimpered. He hated that word. The last thing he wanted during sex was to be reminded of his father, the man who never wanted him. It was something a lot of his clients had requested when he worked for Jiwon due to his small, innocent appearance, he always hated it but never had any choice. Saying no to them would only end up in more cuts and bruises from his boss. 

"Dongsung, please."

"Say it, Hojoon." Dongsung growled against his neck, teeth grazing over the sensitive skin. He was  _paying_  Hojoon for this. The blonde wasn't in any position to argue. "Or I'll not pay you for last night either."

Hojoon frowned. He wasn't going to pay him for their date? This wasn't what he signed up for. 

"That's not fai-"

Dongsung bit into his neck, marking Hojoon as his own, knowing he was going out with his boyfriends later. 

"Who's your Daddy, Hojoonie?" Dongsung's breath was hot on his neck as he lapped at the sensitive patch of skin, as if that was going to make it sting any less. 

Hojoon hated this. But he wanted his money and he wanted to get off. 

"You are. Now, fuck me, already."

"Ask me nicely."

Hojoon groaned, realising Dongsung wasn't going to drop this. 

"Please, _Daddy_ , fuck me." He spat out the name, hoping Dongsung wouldn't pick up on the venom in his voice and ask him to say it again. 

Luckily he didn't, pressing a finger into Hojoon's willing hole.  _Finally_. His back arched off the bed again, hips trying to meet Dongsung's as the elder fingered him, barely waiting to add a second. 

He gasped out Dongsung's name as his fingers found their way into chocolate hair, moaning as Dongsung's tongue licked the sensitive skin of his neck. 

Dongsung leaned back, Hojoon whimpering at the loss as the brunette pulled his fingers out. 

"On your hands and knees."

Hojoon obliged. To be perfectly honest he would rather not look at Dongsung right now if he was insisting on being called  _'Daddy'._

Dongsung pushed into him, painfully slowly. Hojoon was already so hard; he couldn't really deal with being teased. 

"Dongsung, more." He whined out, back arching as the doctor barely moved inside of him. "Please, Dongsung, just fuck me really hard."

Dongsung ignored him, continuing to go at a leisurely pace. Hojoon groaned, knowing exactly what the elder wanted from him. 

He bit down on his bottom lip, thankful Dongsung couldn't see his face as he rolled his eyes, voice completely deadpan. 

"Fuck me harder,  _Daddy_."

Dongsung smirked, caving instantly. Hojoon's arms gave way as the elder suddenly fucked into him with more vigour. That was more like it. 

Hojoon moaned wantonly into the pillow, fingers twisting into the soft material as Dongsung fucked into him, hands firm on the dancer’s hips. 

"Fuck, baby, you feel  _so_  good." Dongsung almost wished he hadn't hung upon Jiho, allowing the model to listen in on how good he was fucking his boyfriend. How loudly Hojoon cried out. How he called him Daddy.

"Please, I need more." Hojoon's gasped out, he knew he was close but he needed just a little extra to tip him over the edge. Dongsung ignored him again." Daddy, please."

Dongsung changed the angle of his hips, causing Hojoon to cry out even louder as he brushed up against his prostate. He reached down to pump the dancers cock, wanting Hojoon to completely lose it. 

"Daddy, please, I'm so close." Hojoon had completely given up on resisting the name. It was getting him what he wanted, and right now he wanted to come. 

"Go on baby; show me how good you look when you come." 

Hojoon didn't even bother holding on, with Dongsung pounding into him from behind and the brunette's fingers wrapped around his dick, he wasn't sure he could have even if he tried. 

He came with a scream of the elder's name, his entire body tingling as his orgasm swept over him. He moaned loudly as Dongsung continued to fuck into him. Body going into overdrive as his climax made him hyper-sensitive. 

He cried out again when the doctor finally came, after what seemed like forever, filling Hojoon up. He collapsed against the bed as Dongsung's grip on his hips loosened, unable to stay up on his own. 

"Fuck." He rolled over, mind still hazy from how hard he came. "That was so fucking good. I love your cock." He laughed, shuffling over to Dongsung as the elder lay down beside him. 

Dongsung hummed, wrapping an arm around Hojoon's lithe body. "I'll fuck you like that every time if you call me by my proper name like a good boy."

Hojoon drew patterns into Dongsung's hip with his index finger as he considered it; trying to ignore the fact Dongsung had called him  _good boy_  when he felt more like a  _good girl_  today. Calling him Daddy wasn't the end of the world. It was just a name. It's not like he was being forced to do it by some old creep. He liked Dongsung. A lot.

Hojoon smiled, propping himself up on his elbow as he leaned down to kiss the brunette. 

"Please, Daddy, fuck me like that every time."

 

✧ ✦ ✧

 

 

Hojoon smiled as he entered his favourite bistro near their house, the four of them were already at a table, chatting amongst themselves. He sat at the spare seat between Taeyang and Hansol, pressing a soft kiss to his boyfriend’s lips as he turned to smile at Jiho. The dark haired model stood almost as soon as Hojoon had sat down, saying he was going to get another drink. 

"He's pissed off at you for hanging up on him." Taeyang offered, nibbling on a breadstick from the basket in the middle of the table. 

Hojoon groaned. He had completely forgotten about that. "It was Dongsung, not me. I wanted to hear him finish, trust me."

Byungjoo gagged at the thought of the three of them having phone sex. "No offence, Hojoon, but that guy seems like a dick."

"Well I think you're kind of a dick but it doesn't stop Jiho and Hansol dating you." Hojoon snapped back. He wasn't in the mood for people to be questioning his and Dongsung's relationship. 

"Hojoon." Taeyang warned, hand resting on his boyfriend’s knee. "I'm gonna go find Jiho, so, be nice."

Hojoon rolled his eyes. That  _was_  him being nice. He could have said a lot worse. 

"Why would you let him hang up on Jiho? He's your boyfriend, Joon; you should have called him back." Great, even Hansol was against him on this one. 

"I dunno, I got distracted I guess." He took a deep breath, thinking back to what had just happened. "He kept asking me to call him Daddy and I was so weirded out I just kinda forgot."

Byungjoo laughed obnoxiously, a couple of other diners turning to glare at the loud blonde. 

Hojoon gave him a pointed look. 

"Oh, wait. You're being serious?"

Hojoon rolled his eyes again. He really hated Byungjoo sometimes. 

"I've never got that. Why would anyone wanna think of their dad while banging?" Byungjoo grimaced, clearly disgusted by the idea. 

"People are into different things, Joo." Hansol started, turning to his boyfriend. "I mean, you like it when I-"

Byungjoo clamped his hand over Hansol's mouth, hissing a  _'don't'_ to the silver haired boy. 

Hojoon quirked an eyebrow.  _Interesting_. "Tell me later." He whispered into Hansol's ear, earning a catlike grin from his best friend as Jiho and Taeyang re-joined them at the table. 

"Jii, I'm really sorry. Dongsung took my phone off me and wouldn't give me it back." Hojoon whined as he reached across the table to link his fingers with Jiho's. 

"Then he made him call him Daddy."

Hojoon sent yet another pointed look Byungjoo's way. The platinum blonde shrugging as Hojoon glared at him. 

"Seriously? I thought you hated that."

Hojoon sighed. This wasn't really the conversation he wanted to be having with his boyfriends at lunch. 

"I do, but it's not that bad considering he's not old enough to be my  _actual_ dad. Plus, he said he wouldn't pay me if I didn't, so."

Jiho quirked an eyebrow, hand retracting from Hojoon's as he crossed his arms. 

"You need to stop letting him treat you like shit, Princess." This wasn't the first time Hojoon had come back and told them something that made Jiho question Dongsung's hold over his boyfriend. 

"He doesn't, he's really nice to me, Jii." He felt like he was lying to himself, Dongsung had made him feel like total shit on more than one occasion." Can we not talk about this here? I just wanna eat."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated!! pls let me know what u thought ♡  
> if you wanna shout at me abt anything feel free to add me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/lowkeyamen) (i am friendless) or on [instagram](https://www.instagram.com/lowkeyamen/) (where i talk all sorts of gay shit) and i also have a [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/lowkeyamen) bc, well, i am despo for attention pls love me uwu thank u xo


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so just a little chapter bc i'm SO SO sorry for p much abandoning my td fics espeically solitaire but peridot has become so fucking hard for me to write atm bc of personal stuff n also bc taeyang keeps going mia gdi it all got a bit too real lol  
> SO hopefully this will make up for it just a lil bit :(((
> 
> ALSO hopefully all of u know by now that toppdogg have changed their name to xeno-t and THEY JUST HAD A COMEBACK!!!!! omg it is so fucking good i love these 5 boys more than anything in the world please check it out if you haven't already and stream the shit out of it they deserve all of the views!!!!
> 
> https://youtu.be/89xUGgG5mEs
> 
> Ps I'm so sorry if this is full of typos and mistakes but I had so much trouble editing it on my boyfriends phone ugh :(

Hojoon liked Dongsung's bed. He liked waking up naked with the bigger man’s arms wrapped around him, or rousing him from sleep with hands roaming all over his skin. 

He hummed as Dongsung's fingers ghosted over his taut stomach, making their way south. 

"Fuck, Dongsung." He breathed as the elder wrapped his fingers around his length. He hadn't even realised he was already hard. 

Dongsung latched onto his neck, sucking gently on the soft skin as his hand moved faster. He loved getting Hojoon off. The dancer always looked so gorgeous when he came. 

"What's my name, baby?"

Hojoon groaned as Dongsung pressed up against him, hard cock digging into his back. 

"Say it, baby."

"Daddy," he moaned out as Dongsung's thumb pressed into the slit of his weeping cock, "fuck me."

He still wasn't sure about the whole 'Daddy' thing. It brought back a lot of memories of being with Jiwon. It had always creeped him out. But with Dongsung it felt different, right almost. He was only a few years older than Hojoon, barely in his thirties, so maybe that was why. He wasn't a lecherous old man; old enough to be his actual father. 

"You want my dick in you Hojoonie? I bet you're still loose off when I fucked you last night, huh?" 

Dongsung spat on his fingers, leaving a trail of saliva down the younger's back before parting his plush cheeks. Hojoon gasped as Dongsung slipped a finger in, it didn't hurt because he was too tight, but he was still tender from how hard Dongsung had fucked him the night before. 

A series of moans spilled from Hojoon's lips as Dongsung scissored him open. He was pretty sure he didn't need it, but it was nice that the elder wanted to look after him and make sure he was comfortable. 

"Just put it in." Patience had never been one of Hojoon's virtues. "Please, Daddy."

The words went straight to Dongsung's head, cock twitching at the name. He loved when Hojoon called him that. 

He pulled his fingers out of Hojoon, hooking his hand under the younger's thigh, parting them so he could slide into him from behind. 

Hojoon was insatiable. The noises he made, the whines of 'more, Daddy' and 'faster' as the elder fucked into him drove Dongsung crazy. 

Hojoon's head was spinning, he wasn't sure he could hold on much longer with Dongsung pounding into him and pumping his cock simultaneously. His fingers gripped into the bedsheets. 

"I'm gonna come." He managed to breathe out, as Dongsung pushed into him harder. 

"Not yet baby, just a little more."

"I can't- Daddy, please."

Dongsung's fingers circled around the base of Hojoon's cock, stopping the younger boy from being able to come. Hojoon whined at the pressure, he was so desperate. He needed it. 

"I'l llet you come on one condition, baby."

Hojoon whimpered, he was willing to do just about anything. 

"You stay here in bed with me all day." Dongsung left a trail of sweet kisses down Hojoon's nape and across his shoulder blades. Relishing in the way the younger shuddered underneath him. 

"I can't."

Dongsung's hips slowed. 

"I promised Jiho I'd meet him."

Dongsung scowled at the mere mention of Hojoon's other boyfriend. He had never even met Jiho,but he knew he didn't like him. There was something off about the model. Sure, he was attractive and rich, but there must be more to him than that if he had so many boys falling at his feet at the tender age of twenty-two, an entire ten years younger than Dongsung. 

Dongsung slammed back into Hojoon, the younger crying out at the brute force, air knocked out of him. Dongsung's fingers tightened around Hojoon's cock,punishing the blonde for picking Jiho over him as he fucked into Hojoon even harder. 

"Dongsung, ah- you're hurting me!"

"I thought you liked it when it hurts." Dongsung bit into Hojoon's neck. If the dancer was going out with Jiho he at least wanted a reminder of who had had him before. 

Dongsung pulled out of Hojoon, the younger whimpering as the doctor came with a low groan, threads of white dressing the blonde's back. 

He let go of Hojoon's strained cock sitting up and resting back against his headboard, all but ignoring his boyfriend. 

"What the fuck, Dongsung? That fucking hurt what's wrong with you?" Hojoon sat up, turning to face the elder, wincing slightly as he moved.

Dongsung continued to ignore him, picking up his phone off the bedside table to absentmindedly scroll through his notifications. 

"Are you just gonna leave me like this?" Hojoon motioned to his dick, red and throbbing from arousal. 

Dongsung shrugged. "I'm sure Jiho would be more than happy to help you out."

Hojoon's eyebrows knitted together, jaw dropping as he scoffed. Was Dongsung really that mad that Hojoon was going to meet his boyfriend? 

"Seriously? You're gonna use me to get off then ignore me?" Hojoon couldn't deal with this shit right now. 

"Well I would have let you come, if you agreed to stay. I don't like how much time you spend with him."

What was Dongsung's problem? No one told him what to do anymore, how to live his life. Especially when Jiho was concerned. Jiho was his boyfriend. They lived together. They were in love. This wasn't news to Dongsung, why was he getting all possessive and jealous now? 

He collected his clothes, getting dressed as quickly was possible, which was easier said than done considering he was impossibly hard and his jeans were so fucking tight. 

"You know what, Dongsung, fuck you." He slipped his shoes on, grabbing his phone as he went to leave. "I'm done. I refuse to let myself be treated like this again."

Dongsung flinched at Hojoon's words. He knew the younger had a past, he had mentioned it a couple of times, never going into detail. 

"Hojoon, wait, I-" He stood, reaching out for the blonde. 

"Don't fucking touch me." Hojoon backed up from the bigger man, afraid Dongsung was going to grab him. "Do you honestly think I'd pick you over Jiho? I love him, Dongsung. He and Taeyang are everything to me. You just pay my fucking bills."

Hojoon stormed out of Dongsung's house, calling Jiho to see if they could meet earlier. He just wanted his boyfriend. He wanted Jiho to hold him and tell him he was loved. 

He limped slightly as he walked, who did Dongsung think he was taking him so hard? Sure, he liked it rough, but only when he consented to it. Tears pricked the back of his eyes as the thought about what had just happened. He thought he was past all of this.

"Hey, Princess." Jiho's smile always managed to warm Hojoon's heart, no matter how shitty his day had been. He looped his arms around the younger's slim waist, inhaling Jiho's scent as he nuzzled into his boyfriend. Jiho hugged him back, picking up on the slight hissing that came from Hojoon as his arms came into contact with his lower back. 

"You okay?"

He shookhis head. Hojoon had never been good at to lying to Jiho. 

Jiho's eyes fell to the mark on Hojoon's neck which was starting to bruise. 

"Baby, what happened?" Jiho's voice was stern. It wasn't often that the dark-haired model got angry, but when he did it was almost always concerning Hojoon's safety. 

"Dongsung, he," Hojoon inhaled sharply, "we were having sex and it was nice and then like, he wouldn't let me come unless I stayed with him all day but I was coming to see you and then he...got mad and started fucking me really roughly and it hurt and..." He trailed off, voice wavering slightly as tears began to spill over his long eyelashes. "He fucking used me, Jiho, I didn't even...I'm still so fucking hard."

"What the fuck?" Jiho pulled Hojoon in closer, careful not to hurt the elder as he tried to silence his tears. He couldn't believe this was happening again. The idea of anyone harming Hojoon knocked him sick.

"Jii, can you...sort me out?" Hojoon spoke into Jiho's sweatshirt. They were standing outside a cafe, not an ideal spot to ask for a hand job. 

"Uh..." Jiho looked around, not sure where they could do this without getting caught. "Sure, baby, come on."

Jiho took Hojoon by the hand, pulling him into the cafe and heading straight for the bathroom. He figured no one would be too suspicious since Hojoon was crying, assuming he was just helping his friend calm down. 

Jiho put the toilet seat down, sitting and motioning for Hojoon to straddle him. Hojoon unzipped his jeans with haste, desperate for Jiho's touch. He was in so much pain, he just needed to come. 

Hojoon whimpered as he settled into Jiho's lap, he whimpered again as Jiho touched him, gently stroking his boyfriends strained erection. He knew Hojoon needed more contact but he was scared of hurting the blonde. 

"It's okay, baby, just come when you're ready." 

Jiho grabbed a bunch of tissues as he pumped Hojoon's cock, the elder catching him in an open mouthed kiss in an attempt to stifle his own moans. He hated what Dongsung had done to him, but he loved how good Jiho made him feel. Having his boyfriend’s hands on him was unlike anything else. Knowing it was Jiho, the man who loved him, touching him made everything feel so much better. 

"I'm nearly there, Jii." Hojoon gasped against his boyfriends lips, panting as his orgasm drew closer. 

Jiho kissed Hojoon deeper, knowing how loud his boyfriend could be and the last thing he needed was the press catching wind of him wanking someone off in a public bathroom. 

He used the tissues to cover the head of Hojoon's cock as the blonde came, moaning into Jiho's mouth as his orgasm rippled through his body. He had been waiting so long to get off it felt so much more intense. He felt completely drained after. 

"Better?" Jiho smiled up at him, taking in Hojoon's flushed features. 

Hojoon nodded, forehead falling against Jiho's as he snaked his arms around the younger's neck. 

"Thanks. I love you, Jiho."

"Love you too, Princess."

 

✧ ✦ ✧

 

To say Taeyang was pissed off when he found out what Dongsung had done to Hojoon was an understatement. The petite brunette was livid. 

"I'm gonna fucking kill him."

"Taeyang-"

"No, Jiho. I'm  _going_  to fucking  _kill_  him. He's not getting away with treating Hojoon like that. I'm gonna rip his fucking balls off and choke him with them."

Jiho knew how protective Taeyang was of Hojoon. For someone so calm and serene 90% of the time, you didn't want to get on the bad side of him. 

"Tae, just calm down, please. Hojoon's bawling his eyes out in Hansol's room, the last thing we need is you getting in a fight."

Taeyang raked his hands through his cinnamon hair, exhaling deeply. Jiho was right, punching Dongsung wouldn't change anything. Other than maybe getting him fired.

"I just... I feel like we're back at square one, Jii. We've spent two years helping and healing him and he still allows people to treat him like shit. I don't get it." Tears were starting to well up in Taeyang's eyes. The brunette didn't cry much, but every time he did Jiho saw that frightened seventeen year old he had fell for when he was just a teenager himself. 

"I know, baby, he's just...he's still trying to cope."

"Tae?" Taeyang turned to see Hojoon leaning against the arched doorway of their living room, face red and blotchy from crying. "I'm sorry."

Taeyang's heart melted, crossing the room to envelop his boyfriend in a warm hug. 

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Muffin. It's him I'm angry at, not you."

"But I'm such an idiot, I thought I'd found someone else who actually liked me but he's just like the rest."

Taeyang whispered calming words into Hojoon's hair as the younger cried into the crook of his neck. 

"Honey, it's okay, you don't need him. You have me and Jiho. We love you more than anything." He rocked the younger gently in his arms. He really hated seeing Hojoon cry. "I really don't want you seeing him again, Joon. I care about you too much to let anyone hurt you like that."

Hojoon tensed up in Taeyang's arms, pulling back slightly to look at his boyfriend. 

"I'm seeing him later. He didn't give me my money."

Taeyang's eyebrows knitted together. Is he being serious?

"Babe, your safety is way more important than a couple of hundred pounds."

"I _need_ that money, Tae. I need to be able to make a better life for myself. I'm sick of having to rely on you and Jiho all the time."

"But we love looking after you, Princess." Jiho stepped closer to his boyfriends, hand coming to rest on Taeyang's shoulder as he backed the brunette up. 

Hojoon sighed. "You don't get it. I need to do this for myself. I've never achieved anything in my life and I want to train to be a choreographer. You two were the ones that made me believe in myself, that I could be more than just some fucking prostitute. I need to prove that I can be, Jiho."

"Joon, there are so many other ways you can get the money if you want to do this alone. You don't have to sell yourself to that asshole. I hate what he's doing to you." 

Taeyang worried about Hojoon more than he worried about any of the other members of his family. Hojoon hated the words, but he was still so fragile, so vulnerable. 

"There's not, Tae. All I'm good for is a quick fuck. I'm never gonna make enough money by serving coffee or flipping burgers. And it's not like I can get a good job like you cause I'm not good at anything else." 

Jiho's grip on Taeyang's shoulder tightened. They both hated the way Hojoon talked about himself. Even after all these years the blonde still thought he was worthless. 

"Babe, please. Don't see him again. Don't let him think it's okay to treat you like this."

"I have to, Jiho."

"No you don't!" Jiho didn't raise his voice often; he was one of the most docile people Hojoon had ever met. It always made him flinch when the younger shouted. "Hojoon, I don't want you seeing him again. And that's that. He's a complete dick, he treats you like shit and he physically hurt you. I'm not having you put yourself in that position again. I hate the idea of him touching you."

"Jiho." Taeyang warned, knowing his boyfriend didn't have much of a verbal barrier when he got like this. 

"I won't let you see him anymore, Joon. And I definitely won't let you sleep with him. I don't want him anywhere near you."

Hojoon stepped back out of Taeyang's arms, scoffing. 

"You won't let me?" Who did Jiho think he was telling him what to do? Jiho had saved him from a man who had controlled his life, and now he was trying to do the same. "You don't fucking own me, Jiho. You can't tell me what to do."

"He's just trying to protect you, Muffin." Taeyang tried to reason with Hojoon. He knew exactly what Jiho meant, because he felt the same, he just wished the model had phrased it differently. 

"No, Tae, he's trying to control me and I promised myself I'd never let that happen again."

"Joon, he's not tr-"

"Oh, of course you'd take his side. You always do." He stepped back again as Taeyang tried to lace their fingers together before turning to his taller boyfriend. 

"I don't like you sleeping with Byungjoo but you still fucking do it. I hardly see you anymore cause you're always out with him. But as long as you're happy that's all that matters, right Jiho?"

"It's not like that; I just don't want you getting hurt." Jiho knew he had messed up with the way he has worded things earlier. He should have known by now that telling Hojoon not to do something only made the dancer more determined to do it. 

"Stop fucking lying, Jiho. You're jealous. That's what it is. You're jealous cause I have another boyfriend and you think because you fucking bought me you can tell me who I can and can't see."

"I didn't buy you, Hojoon." He dragged his hands down his face. He thought they were past all this. Hojoon hadn't accused Jiho of buying him from Jiwon for years. 

"That's not fair, Hojoon. You know fine well it wasn't like that." Taeyang's patience was wearing thin. He loved Hojoon with all his heart but he wouldn't have his caramel haired boyfriend talk to Jiho like that. 

Hojoon scoffed again, crossing his arms as he looked back at his boyfriends. "I'm going out. You two are welcome to each other."

He always felt like Jiho and Taeyang ganged up on him. They had known each other so much longer than they had Hojoon; they had loved each other so much longer than they had Hojoon. Sometimes he just felt like a third wheel just plugging the gaps in their relationship. 

"Hojoon, please don't go over there." Taeyang's eyes were glassy. Hojoon tried to pay it no mind as he turned to leave, grabbing his coat. 

"I'll probably not be back til morning. See you then."

This was turning out to be one of the worst days. First what happened with Dongsung, now he'd argued with Jiho and Taeyang. He didn't even know where he was going. He didn't really have anywhere to go. At times like this he wished he'd kept his shitty flat in East London. 

He made his way to the nearest bar. He couldn't remember the last time he had a proper drink. Sure he'd have a glass of champagne every so often on his dates with Dongsung, but it's not like he could get shitfaced at a prestigious charity event. 

"Treble vodka lemonade and three Jäegerbombs, please." He downed the bombs, knowing full well the effect Jäger usually had on him. Hopefully he'd be drunk within the hour. 

He wasn't sure what his plan was after that. He couldn't really go home steaming drunk. But that was the least of his concerns as the sickly sweet energy drink hit the back of his throat. 

His phone rang. It had been ringing all day but this time he answered. 

"What?"

"Hojoon I'm so sorry I don't know what I was thinking before I know you proba-"

"It's fine."

"-bly hate me but...what?"

"I said, it's fine." It wasn't, but he was sick of fighting today.

"Really? Hojoon I'm really sorry, I promise. I'll never do anything like that to you again."

"Can I come over?" He didn't know why he said it. Maybe cause he couldn't think of anywhere else to go.

"Uh...yeah, sure." Dongsung clearly hadn't seen that coming. "Where are you, I'll come pick you up."

"I'll just get the tube. I could do with the fresh air."

"Okay, baby boy. I'll see you soon."

Hojoon winced at the pet name. He wasn't sure he was ready for Dongsung calling him that again. Not just yet. 

 

✧ ✦ ✧

 

"Hey."

"Hey." Dongsung stepped aside to let Hojoon in, unable to take his eyes off the dancer. He had assumed he'd never see Hojoon again; he couldn't blame the younger for walking out on him. "Are you okay?"

Hojoon walked straight past him, helping himself to a bottle of gin in Dongsung's kitchen. "You got any tonic?"

"In the top of the fridge."

He watched as Hojoon poured himself a large measure, at least a treble, topping the glass up with tonic before downing the lot.

Dongsung took the bottle from Hojoon's hand, pouring each of them a smaller, more sensible measure. "What's going on, Joon?"

"Jiho  _forbid_  me from seeing you." He sneered, downing the second drink, reachingt o pour himself another as Dongsung pulled the bottle away. Hojoon getting drunk would only make things worse. "I told him what happened; he and Taeyang are really pissed off."

Dongsung wasn't exactly surprised; he should never have done that to Hojoon.

"He said he didn't want you anywhere near me. He's trying to control me just like Jiwon did, and obviously Taeyang took Jiho's side."

"Jiwon?"

Hojoon froze. He had never told Dongsung about Jiwon, and he was the last thing he wanted to talk about right now. He didn't want to add a breakdown because of the man that made his life hell for three years to his already shitty day.

"He's just...someone who treated me really badly before I met Jiho. Jii kinda saved me from him."

Dongsung nodded, sensing Hojoon didn't want to divulge any more information on the subject. 

"We had a huge argument and I just left. So, now I'm here and I'd like another gin please."

Dongsung thought for a second, he didn't think that was a good idea, but Hojoon was angry with Jiho and Taeyang. The more he drank the angrier he'd get. 

Dongsung suppressed a smirk as he poured Hojoon another drink, sliding it across the table. 

"Tell me exactly what happened, baby."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated!! pls let me know what u thought ♡  
> if you wanna shout at me abt anything feel free to add me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/lowkeyamen) (i am friendless) or on [instagram](https://www.instagram.com/lowkeyamen/) (where i talk all sorts of gay shit) and i also have a [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/lowkeyamen) bc, well, i am despo for attention pls love me uwu thank u xo


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